Before I got married, I fancied the idea of adding my
husband’s name to mine and at times I tried various male names to find the one
that matches my first name. I know it was childish: P But, when I had to
actually change it, I backed out. People started asking me, why I haven’t
changed it yet. I asked my husband for his opinion. He said, "completely your choice". I thought I should try. The first place I changed my name was on facebook, but only for two
days. I felt a part of me was missing, incomplete. The first sentence I learnt
at school was “My name is….” and I realized, “My name” would not be mine
anymore. It may not be so difficult for some women, but for me it was.
Not changing my name is not just about gender equality. I wouldn't change my name, even if my husband
adds my name to his. My name is the title of my story. My name is me, I do not see it as different from me. I have been hearing it everyday at home, schools and work and now it resonates with me. When my name was called out during awards
ceremonies or published in newspaper, I felt proud and so did my parents. I want to see that pride in
their eyes in future as well. Yes, I am married, but my roots are still in my
family and they cannot be taken away. For few who argue, it is just change of surname, my name was never my first name alone and it is
just a word if not coupled with my family name.If I google my name, I see
myself at different stages of life. Why should I start fresh with a new identity, when I have a beautiful past?
I was asked if I wanted to change my name when I applied for marriage registration, my son's birth certificate, passport renewal, when my husband added me as his spouse, for aadhar card and at many other places. If answer is "No", a weird expression pops up on executive's face and he would look at my husband sympathetically. Even after three years of marriage, people still ask me, why I haven’t changed my name. They frown at my decision and directly link it to my relationship with extended family. Just because it is tradition or because someone else in the
family did it, I do not get convinced to drop my family name. Every person has different relationship with
self. Many get offended if their name is pronounced wrong or misspelled in emails or invitations, and we are talking
about change of name here. A name is not just a word, it is part of one's soul. A
marriage shouldn't alter a person’s identity and decision of the name change
should be taken only by her. Let her do what she thinks right.
