15 Annoying things about families of NRIs

** NRI Uncle = Father of NRI cousin/friend

** NRI Aunty = Mother of NRI cousin/friend

1. They can't take a "NO" for their NRI son

When a girl rejects NRI groom, “How? How can she reject you, an NRI ? Beta.. just don’t think of her. She is brainless, she doesn’t know what has been offered to her. She is a country girl, she doesn’t deserve AmeriKa…”

2. They forget that their NRI son belonged to India, once upon a time

"My son has only 2 weeks to marry. If you are not ready, no problem, we will look for another girl. We are totally against dowry. But people will think he has some defect if you do not give anything. He earns x crores a month, how can we face our relatives if you offer less than 10x crores. Forgot to tell you… He can’t stand heat and pollution in India, your house to wedding hall to loo, everything should be air-conditioned. Tell your pundit not to show him Arundati. He will get tanned. Oh another thing, my son drives BMW, send at least Audi for Baraat…"

And the family drives Tata Nano in India.

3. They want only NRI grooms for their daughters. 
Last line of matrimonial ads of prospective brides: "Only NRIs from USA, Canada, UK and     Australia"

So you need  a way for you and your family to fly abroad without you working 18 hours a day for an MNC or studying for GRE, GMAT, TOEFL, wasting 2 years and 20+ lakhs on foreign MS or MBA. I really like the honesty. 

4. They wouldn't leave any opportunity to brag about their NRI son
Uncle 1 to NRI Uncle : “Howz your Son doing?”

NRI Uncle : “Oh, My son is in New York, working for xyz company, earning x.y crore a year, almost z lakhs per month. He recently bought Audi.....” Even without looking at Uncle #1, he turns to you and asks you, “Beta, where do you work and what is your salary?”

Uncle ji, Who am I here? A scale to compare your son? 
Btw..He didn't ask your son’s biography.

5. They ask you to postpone your wedding dates for their NRI son
When you invite your NRI cousin & their family to your wedding in March, 2 months in advance i.e in January, “Beta, how can Rahul plan a trip to India in such a short notice? Why can’t you postpone it to December, he gets 15 days off..”

Yes, one should look at US holiday calendar even before looking at muhurtham

6.  Everything and anything in India has a monetary value, including their NRI son's attendance

If NRI cousin still can’t make it, his parents, after they make sure all your relatives are in house puts speaker phone on, "I got urgent assignment, I have to be here. Also this is peak season, It would cost me 2.5 lakhs for this trip, but still I wanted to come just to see you tie the knot. I wanted to gift you 1 lakh, but now I will transfer 2.5 lakhs +1 lakh to your personal account as my wedding gift. You shouldn't think otherwise,"

What do you expect me to tell your son now, 'don’t come but transfer the money?'

7. Atleast one lame function or party, if they can’t find any reason, a puja when their NRI son visits India.

How else can they boast about their NRI son to whole world?

8. They do not value time and commitments of Indian employees. 

NRI Uncle calls you and says, "Beta… Rahul is planning to meet you on mm.dd.yy date at x:y AM in abcd city. He is so excited”. When you tell him that you have a prior appointment, "This is the only date he is free. You understand right, how tightly packed his trip is... Your company won't collapse if you are not there for one day..."

Yes, I am that roadside romeo without work and personal life, dying to meet your son and ready to travel to any city on any day.

9. Anything and Everything in their house is from America

When you compliment NRI aunty, “Wow Aunty, that’s such a nice cup." She starts, "Oh, this one? My daughter got it from States. This bedset, cookery set, photoframe….…my comb, my dental floss are also from…" and then she turns to her maid, "Hey... Careful. That dustpan is also from America..." and turns to you, "You see, you do not get such quality products in India…"

Aunty ji, did you ever check the packing information, atleast half the products are exported from India or China. You will get quality even if you pay in INR

10.  Irrespective of your age, you will get one pack of AMERICAN Chocolates and many other gifts

Plus some funky T-shirt which says “Washington...blah blah”, if you are a boy and Nail Paint, Hair bands, pins etc., to girls

11. They safeguard culture in India but anything in America is Okay

 When you visit NRI Aunty's house in jeans,“Beti.. you shouldn’t wear jeans, that’s not our culture…” and after a while she shows you an album  of her daughter(or in-law) in miniskirts, “Lovely, isn’t she?”

12. And their grand children are exceptionally talented. 
"Education in US is very good. My grandchildren speak very good English, not like kids here..."  

It is funny to watch those kids ripping off Indian language while the grannies kill English. Tit for Tat.

13. They bring their NRI son into everything happening in your family

When you gift a saree to your mom on her birthday, NRI aunty comes and tells her, “Oh... My son gave me an iPhone, you know it is 50,000 Rupees”

Aunty ji but your son gave you the phone he used for two years because he wanted to buy new mobile. That wouldn’t count as a gift. But, how does it matter?

14. They talk so much about America that your own family feel terrible about you. 

Your mom slams you for not going to America, "You were school topper while her son struggled to get pass marks. I was so proud of you but see now he is earning more than you, his mom has so many nice (AMERICAN) things in her house…Every alternate year, they buy one flat… I lose my face because of you...”

“Amma.. you have me in the house” but who cares??

15. They take so much pride in America but wouldn't want you go there. 

When your desperate mom seeks help from NRI Aunty, "Oh Jaya…. You know it is not so easy to get into US and anyways life sucks there. Climate is horrible, no culture, no values… My son is planning to return to India in next few years…"

Next few years would remain next few years at any point of time in their lifetime.

PS : I am one of the many confused Indians who cannot decide between settling in India and US

Disclaimer: 
This blog is written in hilarious tone. I am not against people going to America or any other foreign country for better job prospects or life style. I have some amazing friends and relatives in US, and their families here in India are also pretty awesome. This blog is about those Aunties and Uncles who take utmost pride of their son/daughter being in America and demean the ones who choose to work in India. Professionally I never felt devalued for studying and working in India, but in personal life yes, by constantly being compared with someone in AmeriKa. Fact is that I earn in Rupees and I spend in Rupees.

All the situations and characters in this post are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons is purely intentional. 

Be a Fan