Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Watch Bahubali with your family to experience strength of our warriors, power of women in ancient India and grandeur of Indian cinema!!

Bahubali, the biggest Indian motion picture is now in theaters!! It is a historical fiction Telugu-Tamil bilingual dubbed into Hindi, Malayalam and French!! If you haven’t seen it yet, book your tickets to live through grandeur of medieval times of India, experience strength of our warriors and understand power of women in olden days. It is a must movie for every macho man, who thinks listening to woman is a sign of weak man. The movie shows you how women were power centers in ancient India, how mothers/wives were treated in ancient India, and that a woman & man complement each other, neither of them is superior.
I am not a movie buff, I selectively watch movies and this is the first time, I am writing about one. But #Bahubali is not just a movie, it is an experience!! More than grandeur/visuals of the movie, I liked the characters. Typically, Indian movies show hero as the strongest, most handsome and most generous – all the goodness in the world in one man. But, in #Bahubali, every character is important, every character connects with you and talks to you:

A magnanimous queen who can side mother& wife in her for the welfare of her kingdom (Ramya Krishnan as Sivagami)
A caring mother for whom her child is her world (Rohini as Sanga – Shivudu’s mother),
A loyal servant – Highly skilled, dissatisfied but loyal (Sathyaraj as Katappa),
A captivated & tortured queen – an epitome of self-respect (Anushka Shetty as Devasena)
A shrewd father who wanted to live his life again through his son (Nassar as BjjalaDeva )
A powerful warrior with thirst for power (Rana Daggupati as Bhallaladeva)
A noble king who knows how to play his strengths to protect his subjects (Prabhas as Bahubali)
A son/lover who could do anything for his mother and girl (Prabhas as Shivudu)

Spoiler Alert: No Comedy track, you just smile/cry but you wouldn’t laugh!!

Well, I felt Avanatika character was the weakest in the movie. I didn’t connect with Avantika and Tamannaah didn’t fit the role of Avantika.

I do not want to be a spoiler, so I am not talking about specific scenes. Do watch it yourself!! With IMDB rating of 9.4/10 (highest for an Indian film), you wouldn’t be disappointed at all.

80% of all Indian commercial movies beautify woman and in many movies heroines are no brainers, they are present only to virtually & visually romance with viewers (including a few of Rajamouli’s own movies). In many of our families, we think listening to woman is sign of a weak man, but this movie shows you that strength of a man is in respecting women. You need to listen to a woman when she has a point, and a woman has to be strong to drive her point.  Not just in Palace, even in tribal setup, villagers respect Sanga’s words and feelings!! A man beheads another for the vulgar comments he made on a woman (even before knowing she was his mother).

If you keep comparing this movie with counterparts from Hollywood, you would lose what movie had to offer you – that emotional connect with characters!! Given all the constraints, it is a great Indian movie, which would stand tall in Indian Cinema books. If you think, only “Hero” should have 70% of the screen-time, this movie is not for you!!

Some said, Bahubali script is weak. I didn’t find it weak, every story can be narrowed down to three feelings – Love, Revenge and Call for Duty – so is Ramayana, Mahabharatham… and is Bahubali. It is not about content of the story but it is about how you tell a story!! Rajamouli is a spectacular story teller. Bahubali is not an entertainer, you need to use your brain a lot. There is no chronological order, it moves back and forth in time and place – you need to connect the dots. Especially, you need to do lot of brain work to understand the war strategy.


Preferably, watch it with family and let your children learn about ancient culture, our powerful warriors, and war strategies. Let them understand how women were treated in ancient times, at least some of them would understand that women are not weaker sex and learn to respect women when they turn into adults.

All said, Bahubali – 2 looks evern more promising as you get to see more of Bahubali, Bhallaladeva, Devasena, Katappa and Sivagami.
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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Flipkart Maternity Benefits : Bold and Welcoming move!!




Flipkart, one of the e-Commerce giants of India has raised bar very high for other Companies in attracting and retaining Women employees.

Snapshot of Flipkart new maternity package :

1. Six Months paid Maternity leave
2. Up to four months of flexible working option with full pay.
3. Extended maternity leave up to 1 year of career break without pay
4. Transport reimbursement benefit of Rs.600 per day during the last two months of pregnancy
5. Reserved parking slot for women 2 months before and after child delivery
6. Working on proposal with Famous day-care centres for discounted prices to its employees. 

Why such benefits??

Every woman loves shopping!! At least window shopping!!  Flipkart wants to aggressively market itself to women shoppers and to fully understand the psyche of women and design programs that best attract women, Flipkart needs strong representation of women in its workforce. Currently, Flipkart has no woman in its board of directors. The company is planning to recruit women for its senior leadership roles, and also nurture women talent within. Hence, the bold move - Benefits that stand out from regular and mandated 3 months paid maternity leave!!

Thinking of Change!!? Flipkart is waiting for you!! 

Flipkart has announced itself as the destination for young & talented women, many of whom have to drop the ball for Childcare. Not just that, the announcement of these benefits are applauded by many of its customers, and Flipkart has entered into good books of its women customers. This strong and positive brand image would definitely reflect in its online sales. 

So ladies, if you are planning to switch careers (or planning to start a family in near future), let Flipkart be your first choice!! It is not easy to work after marriage, especially after kids, you need very strong support from your colleagues and employer. 

What next ?!! You might be regularly following Flipkart, Amazon and Snapdeals counter marketing trolls. Well, Flipkart has opened new space for marketing. I hope that Amazon and Snapdeal would respond with equally good, if not better maternity benefits. 


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Sunday, June 28, 2015

If marriage is a solution to rape, how can Marital rape be ever a crime?


On a lazy Sunday morning, first thing I read is this case where a Court considers 'Marriage' between rape victim and her rapist, a "Happy Conclusion"!! How can a woman be ordered / requested / convinced to marry a man who sedated her, pounced on her like an animal, attacked her parents and denied any involvement until DNA report of his daughter confirmed it!!?? Is the judge helping the victim or punishing her for bringing it to courts? Isn't it a license for him to abuse her for her entire life?


The case is about a woman, now in her 20s from a remote village, who was raped by a man 6 years ago 2 days before her SSC exams. She also had a 6 yr old daughter out of this rape. She has fought in courts for justice, and is still fighting for her dignity in society. Court proposed Marriage!! She neither agreed to marry her rapist nor accept any money in compensation, despite her poor financial status!! His place is behind the bars, not in her house. Kudos to her spirits!! She didn't give up, she is going to tell her daughter that her father is a rapist. I agree, family with mom and dad is good for any child, but not a Rapist Father, he is more harm to her daughter!! I love this woman for her stand.

She is truly an inspiration to many highly educated stalwarts of our society. 

As long as we see MARRIAGE as a solution to a CRIME of rape, we wouldn't see MARITAL Rape as a CRIME. 

Suppose, if a woman meets with an accident because the other vehicle driver was drunk, and gets seriously wounded, we would sympathize with her & her family but if same woman is raped by another drunk/sober man, we blame her. We scar her. We boycott her & her family. We look at Rape as Loss of Dignity of Woman, it is not considered as wound to her body, but a scar on her character. She would become unfit for marriage and unsuitable company of her friends/cousins!! One heinous act ruins her complete life!In almost all the cases, a woman is blamed atleast partially - for being provactive, for not being alert or for being out at odd timings!! When we make victim part of the crime, a Rape case would become more of a conflict between two individuals and less of a crime committed by one single party. With such understanding of rape, marriage would seem amicable solution.

If forced sex is precursor for marriage, forced sex would be always an OKAY in a marriage, and many women suffer silently!!


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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

If not for those few lines,Deepika Padukone's Empowerment video would have made sense!!!


By now, every one  might have watched the most viral Deepika's Women Empowerment video.



I watched it on Sunday, but couldn't post as I was migrating my blog to new domain. I was thinking about those lines again and again. People were extremely divided on this video, some applauded it and some completely rejected it as extreme feminist attempt.

I really liked some ideas of the video and more than the content, the attempt to drive women empowerment. My understanding is that the production team wanted viewers to discard the ideas of objectification of  a woman, and give importance to her inner soul. I liked the concept of 99 women, choice of colours, screenplay and background music. Sadly poor choice of the words negated the entire idea of women empowerment. And today, I read that somewhere the script was written by a male, Deepika should not have agreed to repeat those words!!

Here is the full transcript of the video :

My body, my mind, my choice
To wear the clothes I like; even if my spirit roams naked
My choice; to be a size 0 or a size 15
They don’t have a size for my spirit, and never will
To use cotton and silk to trap my soul is to believe that you can halt the expansion of the universe
Or capture sunlight in the palm of your hand
Your mind is caged, let it free
My body is not
Let it be
My choice
To marry, or not to marry
To have sex before marriage, to have sex out of marriage, or to not have sex
My choice
To love temporarily, or to lust forever
My choice
To love a man, or a woman, or both
Remember; you are my choice, I’m not your privilege
The bindi on my forehead, the ring on my finger, adding your surname to mine, they’re all ornaments and can be replaced
My love for you cannot, so treasure that
My choice; to come home when I want
Don’t be upset if I come home at 4am
Don’t be fooled if I come home at 6pm,
My choice; to have your baby or not
To pick you from 7 billion choices or not
So don’t get cocky
My pleasure might be your pain
My songs, your noise
My order, your anarchy
Your sins, my virtues
My choices are like my fingerprints
They make me unique
I am the tree not the forest
I am the snowflake not the snowfall
You are the snowflake
Wake up                                                       
Get out of the shit storm
I choose to empathize
Or to be indifferent
I choose to be different
I am the universe
Infinite in every direction


This is my choice

The lines in blue are my favorites. I highlighted the lines, I do not agree with, in red colour.


Feminism is not about women being superior to men 
Feminism is not a fight against men!! Respect Men!!!
Psuedo feminism is as dangerous as male chauvinism, if not more. The entire tone of the video is such that it is fight against men, it looked like a direct and very hostile attack. Feminism is not about downplaying men, it is fight against the idea of gender discrimination. Feminism is all about - Gender neutrality!! Anyways, it is not just the men who judge women, very often it is women who pull each other down.



Women empowerment is not about freedom to do any senseless thing you want to!!
Empowerment is not just taking your decisions, it is also about holding the complete responsibility of the consequences of those decisions. If you have sex and a baby outside your marriage, you need to hold the responsibility of raising the baby on your own, also with full dignity. You can't dump the baby and say, "It is my choice!!". That is not the empowerment we need.


Marriage is not a cage, it is a relationship!!
Even, he picked you from 7 billion choices, not just you!! A relationship between two people is a choice of both of them, respect the other person equally. You haven't done him a favour by choosing him and neither he did. Do not underplay his role in your life!! I will have a problem, if my husband spends too little time with me, if comes home at 4:00 AM every day..He promised to share his life and so I demand his time!! Certain decisions have to be mutually agreed!! The only sensible line about relationships in the whole video is, "The bindi on my forehead, the ring on my finger, adding your surname to mine, they’re all ornaments and can be replaced. My love for you cannot, so treasure that"

It is NEVER okay for a man or a woman, to have sex outside marriage. Period.
Such a wrong message to entire country or world!! You cannot insult the institution of marriage in any country. Why to call yourselves - " a wife and a husband", if you cannot hold the sanctity of your marriage?? Break it and do whatever you want, but do not advise people around to cheat their spouses. Which country calls this empowerment? The video should have been banned for this one disgusting line, because extramarital affairs are punishable under law

Concept is good, but the topics of discussion should have been different!!
The image of Deepika should have been used to drive attention to many other pressing issues - female infanticide, Dowry, domestic violence, Acid attacks, blaming women for rapes, less representation of women in many fields and many more!! I do not understand how Deepika or vogue team arrived at linking "choice to have sex outside marriage" as women empowerment. I think, the only important issue this video addresses is objectification of women in first few seconds.

Last, but not least, here are best comments from Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj : 

"If it is your choice to have sex outside marriage, it should be his choice too. Don't then call him a womanizer or get offended if he calls you a slut because what opinion he has of you is his choice! If he wants to marry a fair, beautiful girl don't call him sexist...because it is his choice to choose the partner he wants. If he wants to marry a woman who brings with her lot of wealth during marriage for his better life...don't call him a dowry seeker because it is his choice. It is his choice too to love a man or a woman or just himself or noone inside or outside of marriage. Don't ridicule him calling him impotent , gay, tharki and get him arrested because who he loves whether inside or outside marriage is his choice. It is his choice whether he wants to live with his parents or not. Don't force him for what you want because it's his choice and YOU made a choice to come to his home. Don't treat him as a robot that should operate so that your choices are taken care of. HE IS A HUMAN BEING and he too has ALL THE RIGHTS to HIS CHOICE! Also - do not file rape case on promise of marriage after having consensual sex because he made a CHOICE not to MARRY YOU. Ms Deepika Padukone and girls who agree with this video - make your choice but stand up to how society perceives your choices as - because how they look at it is entirely their CHOICE."
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Monday, March 16, 2015

It is not always her fault....



It is not her fault if she gets raped by few morons in a moving bus at 9:00 in the night

It is not her fault if her trusted friend takes an advantage of her drunken state

It is not her fault if a retarded throws acid at her for rejecting his proposal

It is not her fault if she is tricked by her 1st standard teacher to lift her skirts up


It is not her fault if her heart urges to see her parents and siblings, after marriage

It is not her fault if she gets mocked in her new house for not bringing enough gifts

It is not her fault if she gets raped in her own house every night

It is not her fault if she is slapped because he didn't like the food she prepared

It is not her fault if her partner divorces her alone with three children, for another woman


It is not her fault if she can never bear a child for health reasons

It is not her fault if her children have poor manners or bad grades at school

It is not her fault if her daughter chooses to marry someone outside their religion


It is not her fault if many prospective grooms reject her in search of beauty or money

It is not her fault if she is killed in the dark because they were expecting HIM



I am tired of reading media articles in newspapers about assaults on women outside the house, in which a woman is blamed for her dress, for being out or for her naive attitude... I am also tired of listening to family & neighborhood daily anecdotes, where a woman is blamed for marital conflicts, her husband's extra marital affairs, her children's ill-manners, her own health conditions..... There is always a line between victim and culprit, but when it comes to a misfortune in a woman's life, on roads or inside her own house, we conveniently breach the line and make her part of the crime itself. When she needs our empathy, we raise our eye brows...
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Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right attitude to appreciate it



Objectification of women and obsession with her physical beauty are very old problems. But, instead of pulling ourselves up, we are just digging ourselves deeper and deeper into the problem. Obsession with physical beauty has become an epidemic and unfortunately, millions of us across the globe are victims.  

How do we define a beautiful woman?
Tall, skinny, flawless Fair skin, silky hair and sharp facial features..etc

How many women are born perfectly beautiful (as per above definition, with no single flaw)?
May be <5%.

Then, why to be harsh on girls for their genetic lottery?
Most of the characteristics we consider as measures of beauty come from genes, something a woman has no control over. It is pure luck, decided by nature. But we ridicule girls for their physical flaws.
   
Judging a woman for her external beauty starts very early, right from birth. When a new child comes to greet the world, the first thing we want to find out is, “Girl or Boy” and next thing is skin colour and more specifically if it is a girl, because fair is considered beautiful. As the girl grows, friends, family, relatives and even strangers have a say in how she looks or she should look, they may not be rude, but it definitely hurts at some level :

“The younger sister is fair, she will easily get married... But her parents will have tough time with the elder one”

“Her eyes are not beautiful as her mother’s...”

“She got that job only because of her looks”

“Oh my god, you are not married yet, and you gotta grey hair?”

“Look at your height, dear…This dress is for long legged girls...”

“Dark-coloured girls should try only light colours.. ”

The list would go on….

We reached a point, where we think, it is completely okay to publicly comment on woman’s bod. She is not a doll or a painting in magazine; she has ears, heart and feelings too. When I was a kid, I was constantly compared to my cousin who was fairer than me. I grew with a notion that I was not beautiful because I am not fair skinned. May be some of you were strong, but I was emotionally weak as a teenager . I was one of those many young girls and women who cry to sleep helplessly over something that is not in their control.

While some girls bounce back and prove their strength somewhere else, but research says, many of them would turn bitter towards others, and revenge by pointing out flaws in someone else they come across.  End result, we have a society in which 8 in every 10 women are un-happy with at least one part of their body. Few years back, my grand mother told me, women who are happy about themselves, make happy homes. It hurts to see 

A mother who constantly monitors what her to-be-married daughter eats,

A friend who wouldn’t want to be clicked pictures,

A cousin who is not excited about trying a new dress,

A colleague who sits to herself and doesn’t mingle with others,

A neighbour who suspects her husband every minute,

An aunt who never attends any of the family functions,

Another grumpy aunty who finds a physical flaw in every girl of the family,

A teenage girl who spends more than 10K a month on cosmetics and beauty treatments and

A 5+ year young girl who bugs her mother, “Why am I not fair like you? Why didn’t you eat fruits for me when I was inside you, don’t you love me?”

If someone is benefited from this external beauty concept, it is billion-dollar beauty industry and entertainment media. Unfortunately, they would keep bombarding us with the pictures of supposed-to-be perfect photo-shopped women. They wouldn't change, but we can change ourselves.



It is not important to stress ourselves to fit into that narrow definition of physical beauty. It is not arrogance, but confidence, if you see yourself beautiful. Let us love our bodies as they are, because it is where we have to live in for many more years to come. If you keep your body and mind clean and  healthy, you will always find yourself and the person next to you beautiful!!! If you are a man who is reading this, tell women (your wife, mother, sister, daughter and friends) in your lives at least once in a week, that they are beautiful for what they are. If you are a woman, next time, when you hear someone judge you or someone else, tell them it is rude and unacceptable. Speak out. It is not okay to speak about our body without our consent. Learn to ignore such comments and move on.

The intrinsic value of a person is much higher than his/her physical appearance. It is not important to stress ourselves to fit into that narrow definition of beauty, developed by some pseudo intellectuals. Every woman is beautiful.

PS : It is unfortunate that this beauty epidemic is now spreading to males as well. The content of this blog applies to men as well, except for few examples.
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